Welcome to our second season looking at grief here at Meanderings with Trudy. This time we’ll go through Dina’s book “Grief Unleashed: Moving from the hole in our heart to wholehearted,” chapter-by-chapter. These unscripted conversations are like a dance: we jump around the topic of grief and bereavement in service of deepening our understanding, and our connection to joy.
In chapter four of Dina’s book, we’re looking at this idea of continuing bonds, of continuing our relationship with people who have died, by way of better owning, embodying, and coping with, our feelings of loss. The thing about death is that we often can’t accept the reality of our loss. Continuing bonds normalizes our desire to maintain a relationship with those who have died, and for this to be seen as a healthy way of coping. Continuing bonds can look like different things for different people – I like to invite my mom’s spirit to come and meditate with me, for example. And for some, this idea of continuing bonds is not for them at all, and that’s ok too.
Another big part of this meander explores fear. It seems to us that understanding fear a bit better will help us cope through periods of grief, so Dina shares a bit about the five basic human fears, and how these manifest in us, in our lives.
Invitations:
Out of each episode this season, we are offering people ways to increase their grief literacy. This month, we’re offering an invitation to you to explore two things: first, how does fear hold you in unhealthy ways of coping with loss? And second, if the idea of continuing bonds makes sense to you, what could that look like in your life? And if you try, how does this shift your experience of your grief?
In the meanwhile, feedback is welcome, so please drop us a note at meanderingswithtrudy@gmail.com.
Episode Links:
Dina’s company is Grief Unleashed
Dina’s book, “Grief Unleashed: Moving from the hole in our hearts to whole-hearted” can be purchased through her publisher or at Singing Pebble Bookstore in Ottawa
Dina’s song, cowritten with Leslie Rohonczy
An article from Karl Abrecht on the five basic human fears
The Enneagram Institute on Enneagram types
Royalty free music is called Sunday Stroll – by Huma-Huma